One Last Year
by Cam in the Sky With Diamonds
Summary: Six best friends, and what was supposed to be one amazing senior year, are sent into a downwards spiral when a terrible accident occurs. Broken and lost, Bella Swan is desperate to pick up the pieces of what has been shattered.
1. The Beginning

_**A/N: Hi guys! This is my first story, so don't be too hard. Plus I beta myself so any mistakes are my own. Happy reading! **_

Another year, another grade. Last year I was a junior, this year I'm a senior. Nothing has changed and nothing is new, almost like clockwork. The same lunch table with the same group of best friends sitting there as last year.

Emmett McCarty is my best friend. Our fathers had been best friends also, when they were in high school. They stayed friends, stationed in this small little town since they were kids and until they were grown up, married and had kids of their own. We had so many similarities in our life.

We were the same age and in the same grade, him being born four months earlier than me. We were both smart, though Emmett tended to forget that a lot more than I did. At least one of our parents had left early in our lives. My own mother left when we were nine. His father left when we were eleven. Together we got through it though, keeping the earth steady for one another.

A year after his dad took off, his mother committed suicide. So we took him in, giving him the spare bedroom and giving me the brother I'd always wanted. But this was one time in his life that I couldn't help him at all.

He didn't talk, so I couldn't listen. He didn't cry, so I couldn't comfort him. He walked around like an empty shell for four months. I was afraid to even look at him, in case he snapped. I was scared to set him off as all his repressed feelings were bundled up. Then we found out that his house for going up for sale and they wanted us to clean out everything we wanted or needed, because the rest of it was going to be sold. So Charlie drove us both there and waited as we cleaned out his parent's bedroom.

Without warning, he cried. First it was just traitor tears that fell silently down his face before he took in a deep breath and they turned into full blown sobs. I was blown away, Emmett never cried. He was the one who stood strong and held a situation together. My hands found his head and placed it in the crook of my neck and I rocked him back and forward.

To anyone else, it would have look weird. Emmett was big for a twelve year old, his muscles were starting to turn from soft to rock solid. I was petite, almost a head shorter than him with a boyish look, short hair and flannel t-shirts. But for us, being there for each other both ways was all natural. After that day, everything slowly went back to normal.

When I was fourteen, the ever persisting and still annoying Mike Newton asked me on a date. I'd never been good with lying, so as I was stuttering, I hope that Emmett, who was standing beside me trying not to laugh, would help me out.

Just as I was about to give up and say yes, he finally stepped in. "Bella's going out with me tonight, sorry." And because Emmett was so huge and scary, Mike scampered off without another word.

Relief was the first emotion that I felt, then shock when I heard Emmett ask me, "So we'll go to the twilight show and get something to eat after, okay?" I was rendered speechless.

Charlie dropped us off at the movies none the wiser that we were going on a date. It was a comedy movie and I spent most of it ignorant to the date like atmosphere, until Emmett decided to be brave and put his arm around me. The gesture was nothing new, we were very close, but it made my stomach twist. The rest of the movie was awkward and I couldn't tell you a single detail of it.

Then we walked down the street in the dark to the McDonald's that was located on the corner. The whole time he held my hand, which was slick with sweat. We ate normally, laughing like usual and joking around. Charlie picked us up not long after and he was still oblivious to anything that had happened while he was gone.

When we got home, we both went up the stairs to our separate rooms. After my door was half opened, Emmett called me back. He was right up in my face when I turned around and my heart nearly jumped out of my throat, thinking he was going to kiss me. Instead, he said, "Um, Bells. Bella? Do you think you want to be um my, uh… you know?"

"Girlfriend?" I had whispered. He nodded meekly, scratching the back of his head. I thought, well why not? "Kay." I murmured.

We both smiled awkwardly and his head tilted to the side to touch my cheek with his lips before he turned on his heel. I ducked my head and blushed furiously on instinct.

The month that followed was a good one. Emmett and I were closer than ever, always doing something, behind Charlie's back of course. When we walked through the halls, he kept a hand possessively on my back or captured my hand with his. His arm would always find my shoulder at lunch or when we were at home watching a movie. Our relationship consisted of hugging, cuddling and kissing. On the cheeks, forehead, hand or hair, anywhere but the mouth. I think we were both putting it off as long as we could so that we didn't ruin this bliss that we had going.

Until one day in English, Lauren Mallory actually decided to come to class. That was the one class Emmett and I didn't sit next to each other, he sat beside Edward Cullen. Edward was the other piece of my life, he was mine and Emmett's best friend and our neighbour. The three of us were close, we had been since grade six when he moved here with his mom and dad, Dr. Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

Esme was beautiful and very sweet. She always waved to me while she was out in her garden, invited my family for dinner and had me over for milk and cookies every so often. I knew Carlisle on a more professional level. He was the main doctor at Forks hospital where, much to Emmett's amusement, I was a frequent visitor. Balance was not my thing, I liked to spend my time sitting as much as possible. I was also very lethal in gym.

As I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, Lauren's nasally voice interrupted my peaceful silence. "So is it true?" She asked ignorantly.

I turned to look at her. "Excuse me?"

She sighed and flipped her corn silk hair over her shoulder. "I said, is it true? You know, that you're screwing both Emmett_ and _Edward?" The binder in my hands slipped and crashed to the floor, papers spilling everywhere. "Cause you know, it's totally okay if you are. I mean, look at them! But like, why you? You're not really _that_ pretty." She blabbed on as I sat in angry shock with wide eyes. "Besides, it's not like your mom wanted you anyway."

She didn't get the chance to say anymore because I had turned in my seat and right hooked her in the nose so hard that she fell off her stool. I stood over her and spat in her face. "Talk about me all you want, call me a whore or a slut cause I don't really care. But don't you ever talk about my mother again."

I grabbed my stuff hastily and when Mr. Mason tried to escort me out of the room, I tore my arm away from him. "I know where the principal's office is." Then, I stormed out of the room, still on a high from the only act of bravery I would ever show.

Unfortunately, if dating Emmett hadn't gotten me on the bad side of the "Pretty Posse," then this incident sealed it.

Their little clique consisted of four people. Lauren was the most outspoken and rude, Jessica Stanley was her best friend and sidekick. She was really dumb, the only thing she was good at was being Lauren's echo. Alexis Banks was witty and deceiving behind the scenes. She was the rumour spreader and gossip collector. Then you had Rosalie Hale.

She was smart, beautiful, leggy and blonde. She was quite possible the only one of the four who scared me. She never liked me, in all of the years from kindergarten up that we've known each other. I thought she was egotistical and shallow. She did however have a major crush on Emmett and I took pride in the fact that he was dating me.

After that little incident, I was suspended for five days. Lauren, thanks to Angela Webber, a shy girl that sat behind us in English and who vouched for me after I was gone, was suspended for three. Sadly, that also landed Angela on the hating list and I felt surprisingly guilty.

Charlie lectured my ear off on the car ride home and told me I was grounded for the length of my suspension. I meekly complied and shut myself in my room until the school day was over.

Emmett, who was thankfully in all of my classes, came in my room after school with my homework, a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream and two spoons. I sighed internally with bliss as he let me curl up into his side with his arm around my shoulders. I smiled up in thanks and he kissed my hair before we both dug in.

After it was gone, most of it in Emmett's stomach, he told me that I had succeeded in breaking Lauren's nose and that he was impressed and proud of me. I explained to him quietly that she was talking about my mom and how she never wanted me and that's why she left. I wondered if that was true.

"Of course it's not true!" Emmett had yelled. "You're wonderful, intelligent, kind, beautiful and sweet. You're perfect Bella Swan, anyone would be lucky to have the chance to even be around you." And when the tears fell down my cheeks, he leaned closer to me and wiped them away with his fingertips. We were so close that our foreheads were touching. We were both panting and breathing heavily and I could smell his breath and it smelt like peppermint and I realised that he had put a mint in his mouth when I wasn't looking.

At that moment, I figured out that he had planned this today. So when his eyes closed and his lips caught mine, I wasn't caught off guard. I grabbed the back of his dark curls and held him to me. His tongue mangled with mine and I could feel his hot breath in my mouth and around my face. Our lips parted and then my first kiss was over and it was nice. No sparks or fireworks, just okay. "That was… weird." I finished lamely.

He let out his belly laugh and hugged me to his chest. "That it was." He agreed. "Friends?"

"Friends." And that was that.

I went back to school on the Wednesday of the next week. People were whispering all around me as Emmett and I walked next to each other, no body contact. English was my class before lunch so I was anxious when I entered. Thankfully my seat was switched. I now sat next to Jasper Whitlock in the back corner of class.

Jasper was gorgeous to say the least. He had golden blonde hair that curled up like bed head with ice blue eyes to match. He was tall and thin with slim muscles peeking out of his sleeve. He was new in school, moved down here with his dad sometime in the summer. I'd never actually seen him talk to anyone and when I said hi to him, he just looked away.

I didn't give up on him though. Everyday I asked him question, talked to him and tried to get him to talk back. It took a long time to get through to him but by April there was a fourth person at our lunch table and I had a new friend.

In the last few months of school, I learned a lot about Jasper. His mom had died last June in a car accident. She had grown up here, so his dad relocated them here to be as close to her as possible. Charlie knew of her when I asked, they were good friends, little to my surprise. Jasper hated the rainy climate and the small town and he was downright miserable without his mom. He and his father had never really been close and they argued a lot, so their house was like a war ground. I'd only met his father once and it was a very brief nod hello and a hasty exit.

The way he looked at Jasper already made me hate him.

Early June came, the buzz of excitement for the upcoming months of summer was passed around the school. As Edward and I walked to science, an uneasy feeling grew in my stomach, like something wasn't right. Then I passed a sight that made me stop walking and made Edward run into my back.

Emmett was leaning against Rosalie Hale's locker, holding her books while she laid a hand on his forearm and laughed at something he said, head tossed back. I turned to look at Edward, fighting tears. "Did you know about this?" I asked him.

He tugged my elbow. "We should really get to class." Then he tried walking away, but I grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Did you know?" I repeated.

"Yes."

I said nothing, putting my head down and walking in silence to Science. In class, I gave a smile to Angela, whom I was partners with, then sat quietly the rest of the period. When Emmett arrived, he tugged my hair as he passed my desk. I didn't look up.

I could feel his gaze boring into my back as we studied the current of an electrical circuit. I kept my eyes on the board and on my paper until the lesson was over.

The rest of the afternoon, I ignored both Emmett and Edward, gravitating towards Jasper who didn't ask me any questions. It was times like those I wished I had a girl friend to share my secrets with.

After school, Charlie couldn't pick us up because he was working. So I popped up my hood, placed my headphones in my ears and cranked up the music so that when Emmett caught up to me, as I had a head start but he was much faster than me, he couldn't talk to me. It worked.

I kept up my silence until dinner, when Emmett slammed his fork down on the table and asked me what the hell my problem was. "You've been acting weird all afternoon."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered.

He ran a hand over his face. "Tell you what, Bella? Give me a clue, I'm dying here."

"Rosalie Hale, Emmett?" And for the first time today, it was him that was rendered speechless. "Thanks for…dinner." I'm not sure this slop was actually considered dinner, but I didn't want to be rude. I should consider learning how to cook. "But I'm not hungry."

I exited without asking to be excused or cleaning my plate, preferring to just slam the door to my room loudly. I flipped over to face the wall and look out the window while I silently fumed. It took a good half an hour before Emmett had worked up the courage to come upstairs. "Bella?"

I rolled over and looked at him. "I'm going to repeat this. Rosalie _Hale_?" Emmett had made his feelings for her very clear over the years. "Em, in the fourth grade she called me a big eared lesbian and even though neither of us knew what that meant_, _you told her that if she spoke to me like that again you'd knock her teeth out."

He sat on the edge of my bed, his weight dipping the mattress. "Well Bells, people do change."

"Yeah, that's funny huh? I didn't really know anyone could get any meaner but hey, Rosalie's living proof of that I guess." I babbled sarcastically. "At the beginning of the eighth grade, she tripped me into a mud puddle in gym class. And just last month, she took my shirt from the change room and put it in the toilet."

He shook his head and tried to reason with me. "She told me she was sorry for being mean to you."

"Then why didn't she apologize to me herself? Face it Emmett, she's not the person you think she is. She has you fooled." I rolled over again to face away from him with an irritable sigh. "Whatever, you can do what you want. I'm not your babysitter. But if you'll excuse me, I'd like to have a nap. Kay, thanks." I pulled a pillow over my head until he left.

The last month of school dragged by slowly for me. The graduates cheered and celebrated their graduation success while the juniors looked forward to being the top dogs next year. For me, I thumped out of the school building and passed all the ridiculous beginning of summer cheer. I walked passed Emmett, who I was still fighting with, while he was walking in the opposite direction of me to walk Rosalie home.

He glanced at me and I lifted my head enough to roll my eyes before I kept walking.

An arm wrapped around my shoulders from behind and I jumped, thinking it was Mike. It wasn't and I came face to face with a grinning Edward, who spun me around and forced me to walk with him. "Summer vacation baby, woohoo!" He cheered. "You look gloomy, still haven't patched things up with Emmett?"

"I just don't get what he sees in her." I sighed, waving to Esme, whose car we were headed towards. "Mind if I come over?"

He shrugged. "Why not? Esme's been bugging me to invite you over again. I think Jasper's coming over for dinner too, why don't you stay?"

"I'll stop by and ask Charlie before I come." I agreed and we both got in the backseat. The ride home was quick and quiet, and I raced out of the car and called Charlie at the station, left a note for Emmett and raced back over to the Cullen's.

So the three of us were sitting in Edward's room listening to music around five, when I asked him why he didn't invite Emmett over too. Usually it was the four of us who did things together. "Emmett's staying at Rosalie's until like seven. He might come over after." A casual enough statement, but I caught the gazes that were sent my way.

After another delicious dinner made by Esme, catching up with Carlisle and joking around with my boys, we decided to walk Jasper home. The cloudy sky was blocking whatever sun there was, so the darkness was more prominent. The darkness didn't help my walking handicap and I managed to trip and fall three times before Jasper decided he was going to give me a piggyback.

I kept slipping and by the time we got there, I was technically on the ground and the three of us were having a good time, hooting and hollering. Jasper got us sodas from his fridge and we sat around on his front porch, seeing as his dad didn't get home from work until late night. I was having a good time until Edward saw something he obviously didn't like and turned with a questioning gaze to Jasper.

He looked sheepish. "Did I forget to mention that Rosalie Hale lives across the street from me?" And I turned around just in time to see Rosalie plant one on Emmett's lips, smile and walk back in to her house. Then he glanced my way and I turned around as fast as I could. "Sorry Bella."

I shrugged. "Whatever, doesn't bug me."

But I lied.

The summer passed uneasily, some good moments and some bad. Emmett and I were still on the rocks, mostly I avoided him because if he wasn't out with the guys playing football or baseball, Rosalie was over at our house. She was still as nasty as ever when he wasn't looking, rolling her eyes at me. I chose to ignore her. Mostly.

We had good summer weather this year, even though the unavoidable rain still drenched our heads and ruined our plans on occasion, the climate was warm. We all walked around in short sleeve shirts and jeans, the few braver ones even daring to wear shorts on hotter days. Half my time was divided between Forks, hanging with Edward, Jasper and sometimes Emmett, and hanging around at the Indian Reservation, La Push.

I was good friends with Billy Black's son, Jacob. He was my age, in my grade at the small school of one hundred kids on the Res. He was taller than me, awkwardly clumsy and had beautiful russet skin with long black hair to match, swept in a ponytail at the nape of his neck. Even on the gloomiest of days, everything seemed a whole lot brighter when you were standing by Jacob Black.

He was like my escape, whenever Rosalie would come over I'd beg Charlie to drive me if he were around. Other times I'd go over to the Cullen's, even if Edward wasn't around, I still had Esme to talk to. I never stayed around for too long because well, here's the thing, Edward has a sister.

She wasn't one of the sweet little girls that you wanted to pinch until their cheeks were sore. She was evil, ruthless and cunning. Renesmee, or Nessie as she liked to be called, was a year younger than us and still so gorgeous that she walked in the room and she's technically glowing. Her bronze coloured hair rivalled Edward's, falling in perfect little ringlets all around her face and back. Her eyes were ice blue, a colour she had inherited from Carlisle, not the emerald green eyes that both Esme and Edward sported. She was pale white, paler than me, the almost albino. She walked with grace and lithe.

Her beauty surpassed Rosalie's, a fact which, according to Emmett, was impossible. I compared the two of them, many similarities occurring to me. Both of them were inhumanly beautiful, with contradicting personalities. They were the faces of evil themselves, a trait that ruined any respect I had for them. So when she came around, I mostly ignored her. Again, mostly.

Summer ended as soon as it began and then came my sophomore year. I had lost my tomboy look, preferring to wear tight jeans, ballet flats and fitted sweaters. My hair was grown out to my shoulder blades and my morning routine included time for makeup application. Though the year was relatively uneventful, it was still an irritable one. Reason one, we were down to three people at our table again.

That's right, Rosalie Hale had completely alienated Emmett from us. They sat together, at a table in the back corner all by themselves. The fact that he didn't even seem to notice how annoyed and upset we were probably bothered me the most. Or maybe it was the fact that Rosalie was a lowlife, egotistical self centered bitch.

Reason number two, the Pretty Posse had a new member. The word around the school was that Rosalie had dumped Lauren, Jessica and Alexis in favour of hanging around with Emmett in the summer, so they excluded her from their group. I laughed a little, even though she didn't seem to mind. Can you guess who the new member was?

That's right, Renesmee Carlie Cullen was now officially a member of the Pretty Posse. A fact that got Edward seething. I remember him ranting to me on the third week of school, while the three of us sat at our lunch table.

"I can't believe this!" He grunted, frustrated. "Where did I go wrong? Was I not a good enough role model for her? I mean, I knew she was ignorant and shallow but my own _sister_ is a part of the "Pretty Posse!"

Jasper was blunt and honest as usual. "I knew it was coming Edward, sorry man but it's happening." He moaned and slumped down, head in his hands. I giggled.

By the end of first semester, I was miserable. Emmett had taken up sitting next to Rosalie in all of his classes, completely dumping me off to the side. Jasper and Edward graciously sat next to me whenever we had class together, but other than that it was just me. Thankfully, Lauren and I never had any classes together after last year's moment.

Sophomore year sped by without a hitch and all too soon, it was summer time. The summer before my junior year was very eventful.

I started dating Jacob Black, the only sanctuary in my life. I was down there all the time, as I'd gotten my license at the beginning of the summer. Also, Jasper and Edward had also started taking a liking to Rosalie or "Rose" as they called her. They said that she was a lot different when you got to know her and she wasn't as mean as she tried to be.

Traitors.

So I drove the lovely old Chevy truck that my father had bought me as a gift for getting my driver's license all the way down to La Push where I ranted to Jacob for hours. After a week of this, we started getting closer, holding hands when walking down the beach and cuddling.

After two weeks, he finally kissed me. It was simple, sweet and simply perfect. And that was the start of our relationship.

Somewhere in the middle of summer, the Quileute Tribal School burnt down. It was a result of a prank pulled by some outsiders. So as of next year, the Quileute high school kids will be attending Forks high. This fact made me excited, it also made me scared. Most of the people that knew Jacob were my friends, the other few hated me like no tomorrow.

Thankfully, Jacob told me Paul just had anger management problems and hated everyone, except his girlfriend Cammy, so that made me feel a little bit better.

That summer, Jake and I had dinner with Sam Uley and Emily Young, his girlfriend, who were both our age. Emily was very pretty, though she had been through a bear attack the year before so her pretty face was marred with livid scars. She was also sweet and Sam was polite and friendly. Though Jacob seemed to hate him, so later I asked why.

He told me all about how Sam had dumped Leah Clearwater abruptly for Emily, her cousin. I was shocked and even though Leah hated me dearly and I was sort of afraid of her, I felt a deep sympathy for her.

Halfway into the summer, Edward's cousin Alice and her sister Cynthia moved down here from Biloxi, Mississippi. She was the complete opposite of the only other girls I knew enough to consider being friends with. She wasn't outlandishly pretty or vain. She had a round, narrow face that sort of reminded me of Tinkerbelle, wild black hair that was cropped super short and spiky and a makeup less face. The first time I met her, she wore a deep red blouse, black jeans and ballet flats. And man, was she _tiny!_

Her personality matched her clothing choice more than her look. She was bubbly, spontaneous and happy all the time. She had jumped on me with the biggest hug I'd ever received when I met her. I had quickly offered to show her around town and stuff, before Rosalie got to her. I needed one friend all to myself, at least for now. She agreed.

So for the last half of that summer, if I wasn't with Jacob then I was with Alice. She ranted to me about her younger sister and I complained about Rosalie. We drove in and out of town, shopping and going to movies in Seattle, having sleepovers and going on the fast track to becoming best friends.

I found out that back in the eighth grade, her friends dared her to get her hair cut like that and she ended up liking it, so she kept it over the years, cutting it when it grew out. She was truly beautiful, inside and out, she was the perfect best friend.

School started up again, that year I was ecstatic. My extremely hot and recently matured boyfriend was coming to my school, I had finally made a girl best friend and classes were going to be a breeze. Alice and I had almost the same schedule, whatever class she wasn't in, I was accompanied by Jake.

My acquired good attitude lasted all the way till lunch, where Alice and I loaded up trays and I lead her to my usual lunch spot. Where I guess Rosalie had finally decided we were worthy enough to sit with, because her and Emmett were placed at that table. I paused for a short second, spun on my heel and caught Jacob's eye, begging him to invite me over. He did and I went to sit with him and his Quileute friends.

I gave Alice a look, telling her that I wouldn't think any different of her if she didn't want to sit over here. She gave Edward a long, worried look, rolled her eyes at Rosalie's back and headed over to where I was, taking the seat beside me. My lips twitched apologetically towards her, but I was inwardly rejoicing.

"Hey Shorty!" Jacob had crooned, patting Alice's head affectionately. They had been recently introduced and little to my surprise, but to my relief, they got along famously.

She smiled up at him literally, him being almost two heads taller. "Hey muscle man. Care to share?" Then my very best friend took half of my boyfriend's cookie and laughed. I instantly relaxed, even if I could feel the angry stares of my other friends on my back and even though it felt weird sitting here, as I'd sat at that table for as long as I could remember.

So that's where I sat for first semester, curled up into Jake's side, joking around with his friends and lavishing in my newfound friendship with Alice. The semester passed with excitement. Paul had gotten kicked out of school and sent to anger management classes for punching a teacher in the face when he assigned homework. Much to my dismay, Rosalie and Emmett were still going strong and I barely talked to any of my old friends now, even with Emmett living at my house and Edward being my neighbour. Somehow we'd grown apart.

On a cold Saturday in January, Alice and I were holed up in her room surrounded by junk food, romance movies and magazines when she finally admitted to me what I had been suspicious about since October. "I like Jasper."

My lips twitched, but I didn't look up from the page in the magazine I was reading as I replied, "I know." She looked at me incredulously and I started laughing so she started laughing and then when we were both done I told her to go sit at their table. I was perfectly fine where I was.

So the next Monday, Alice and I walked to lunch together like always. Then I smirked at her and walked to my usual table while she turned in the opposite direction. "Good luck." I muttered. I sat down in my chair and waved to Kim, Jared's girlfriend who sat with him, Sam and Emily at the table beside us, and who I had become okay friends with during the summer months. Then I focused in on Emmett's table.

Everyone's faces were masks of shock as Alice took a chair in between Edward and Jasper and started talking like she sat there all the time. Then, they turned towards me and I ducked to look at my tray, blushing that I had been caught. Jacob pressed a kiss to my hair and shook silently, laughing.

Soon winter had turned into spring, the rain of March turned into the rain of April. I was blissfully content with life, preferring to kick back and take things in stride. Alice and I still hung out and we were closer than ever. It was a Friday and we were going shopping in Port Angeles.

She picked me up around four in her fancy little sports car and I got in the front seat, smiling. Then I realised, when she started driving, that we were going the wrong way. "Alice?"

The automatic door locks locked on cue and she sped up, as if she was afraid I was going to jump out of the car. "Did I forget to mention that I invited Rose?" And that's why.

"Alice!" I exclaimed this time angrily. We pulled up out front of her house and I sat angrily, deliberating whether or not to unlock the door and run home.

"Don't you dare Isabella Marie Swan, or I'll never speak to you again." Alice threatened and my decision was decided. I slumped down in my seat and sulked while we waited. Rosalie came out of her house, in her perfect golden haired perfection with her pretty outfit and really great figure. She climbed into the backseat and shot us both a smile. I forced myself to return it.

_Jealous._ A voice in my head shouted. I grumbled, I was not jealous. She's mean and bitchy and I hated her. It was pure malicious hate, not jealousy. Right?

The drive was semi silent, Alice's music blaring the whole way. To be honest, I hated shopping. Most of my clothes were from Goodwill and Wal-Mart, a fact that Alice thought was disgusting. I'd gotten tired of buying lacy tank tops and pretty sweaters and my feet got cold in the ballet flats I wore, so I finally changed my style to just be me. I wore the same nicely fitting jeans with the black Converse that I had dug up from the back of my closet, completed with duct tape holding the soles together, warm flannel shirts and a black cargo jacket. Alice thought I dressed like a hobo.

We pulled into the mall and Alice tried to nudge me in the middle of our trio but I expertly sidestepped her without being obvious about it. She shot me a look, I shot her one back. And so our shopping extravaganza began.

The beginning was quiet and weird, but after an hour we were all laughing together and having a good time. After, we went to get some food at the food court and Alice excused herself to the bathroom. I rolled my eyes at my friend's subtle planning and turned to Rosalie awkwardly. We both sat in silence for a good minutes.

"I'm sorry that I never gave you a proper chance!" I blurted out at the same time that she said, "I'm sorry I was so mean to you!"

"I was jealous!" We both said. "Wait, _you_ were jealous of _me?_" And then she narrowed her eyes. "That's getting really fucking annoying."

I laughed. "Agreed. Let me go first." I then proceeded to tell her that I was jealous of her beauty that I never seemed to achieve, how popular she was and how quickly Emmett seemed to like her. I was jealous how she'd drawn all my friends in like honey to bees

"Bella, are you serious? My beauty is only skin deep, and it takes a lot to get it that way. I'm vain and self centered, my face is caked in makeup, my hair is died, I'm on a diet for Pete's sake! You, you're beautiful inside and out without even trying. Everyone likes you, you don't have to act a certain way or try to be someone you're not. They like you for you, a quality I wish I'd possessed." She ranted. "Don't ever doubt your own inner self and I don't want to hear you say you aren't beautiful."

I stared her down for a quick second before I burst out laughing. "You're good for Emmett, you'll keep him in line."

"So you don't mind us being together? I mean, you're not in love with him still or anything? I noticed how close you guys were, he really misses you. They all do." She grabbed my hand and to my embarrassment a tear slipped down my face. "We should try and be friends, I think I might like you if I look past my jealous nature."

We smiled. "Friends, that sounds nice. I miss my boys." Then Alice walked back to the table looking all smug after she spotted our connected hands and I socked her in the arm really hard and we all laughed.

I spent all of Friday night and Saturday at Alice's, we'd had a sleepover. Sunday, I ventured over to La Push and met up with Jacob on First Beach. I explained to him how Rosalie and I were getting along and remorsefully told him I was going to sit back at my original table. He grinned and told me that was a good idea, he'd love to see me happy again. We spent the remainder of our time together, making out.

So on Monday at lunch, Alice and I met up with Rosalie in the lunch line and the three of us linked arms as best as we could while holding trays and we joked around and laughed. We were the first ones to our table, so I sat directly next to Rose, Alice sitting across from us.

The boys joined us shortly after, seemingly overlooking me for the most part. Jasper sat on one side of Alice, next to Emmett who gave Rose a quick kiss on the mouth and Edward sat in between Alice and I. It was quiet for a moment before they all did a double take and noticed me. Us girls burst out laughing. And that's how our lunch table formed.

Summertime came and I was happy as a clam. The guys and I had clicked together again like we'd never been apart. Though my time was still divided, half Forks and half La Push, everything was great.

Then it was mine and Jake's one year anniversary. I was sitting on the floor of his living room and we were celebrating quietly with kisses and sweet nothings. Until he whispered to me, "I love you."

See, this isn't the first time he'd said this to me over the course of our relationship. I'd always managed to get out of talking about it and saying it myself, distracting him with comments about the weather or my friends. He noticed, but he never really said anything.

I tried to distract him by looking out the window and pretending to be shocked. "Wow, is it raining? The weatherman said no rain in the forecast today." Which was stupid, because it always rained in Washington, no matter what the predictions.

I thought I had him. "Bella please, you always do that." Damn. "I want to hear you say it back."

Then I realised that I didn't love him. Maybe I did at one point, but not anymore. I didn't get the same feeling around him as usual, the butterflies in the stomach and automatic smile on my face. He just felt like another friend. "Jake I.." I hesitated. "Don't love you. And I think that maybe, we should break up."

He looked like I had just told him that his father was pregnant and his aunt invented to cure for cancer. Then, he looked like I had just kicked a stray puppy in the face. Then he was angry. We got in an argument and I ended up storming out of the house.

The next week, I tried calling him. Billy answered and quite rudely told me he wasn't around, or that he didn't want to speak to me. So I slammed the receiver down after yelling that I didn't want to speak to him either. I spent that night watching sappy romance movies with cartons of ice cream in Rose's bedroom.

The weeks passed and slowly but surely, my anger simmered down. I didn't bother going over there to see him, knowing Billy would shut me down or he'd avoid me, because that's just Jacob. By the end of the summer I was happy again and one day, I was in a good mood and decided to try my luck with him.

I caught him, Quil and Embry coming in from a beach run. His eyes didn't light up immediately when I came into view and I wasn't sure if I should take that as a bad thing. He told them to go inside and wait for him, but I could see them peeking out the rusty old window at the front of the house.

I apologized to him for storming out like that, explaining that I should have given him some warning. We sat on the dinky porch and talked for almost a half and hour until Embry came out, complaining that he was bored. By that time, we were best friends again, and giving him a hug and a parting kiss wasn't awkward.

So that's how I ended up here, on the first day of school being a senior, sitting at the exact same lunch table. Alice, the bubbly and spontaneous pixie with the emo hair cut. Jasper, the shy, reserved yet outlandishly blunt smooth talker. Rosalie, Mrs. Ex Pretty Posse, vain and self centered girl with a heart of gold. Emmett, the loud and crude jock with dimples and a friendly demeanour. Edward, the party hard pretty boy who has mood swings and listens to classical music. And me, Bella. The tomboyish girl who loves old books, laughing and has the best friends in the whole world.

We were together, and we were ready to face anything that came at us full force.

**A/N: Sorry about the length…**


	2. Comfortable

**Disclaimer: Actually forgot to disclaim last time so yeah Twilight is not mine. Which is obvious… I wish though.**

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry this took me so long I've been busy looking into universities and trying to keep my grade up and all that fun stuff that you do when you're graduating. Enjoy (:**

_There was a field. It was full of lush, green grass and it smelled like honeysuckle and I just wanted to lay down and close my eyes and stay there forever. The sun was shining, I could feel the heat on my skin and I hummed to myself, enjoying the beauty. "Bella!" I heard someone call. _

_My eyes flew open. "Emmett, hey!" I started to run towards him and my feet got tangled and I fell. "Emmett… I can't get up. Help me." His eyes clouded and he seemed to be getting further away every time I blinked._

"_Bella help me… Help me. Don't leave me, Bella. Help me. Help me. Help me!" He began to become panicked and I struggled to get to my feet, but some force was holding me down. The beauty disappeared, dark clouds rushed in and a heavy wind picked up. "Don't let me disappear Bella… Save me."_

_I reached out feebly towards him. "Emmett!" I cried. But he was gone. _

My eyes flew open and I gasped for air, my throat feeling like it was closing up and I swallowed heavily. I was sweating, but I was in my bed, tangled up in my purple comforter. The alarm on my phone was beeping, flashing the time 6:30 AM. It took me a minute for my brain to get in order, before I realized that it was no longer summer, and it was the first day of school. The familiarity of home finally reached my mind, and I could hear Charlie snoring, and soon enough Emmett snoring as well. I looked out the window and saw the bedroom light flicker on in Edward's room and he lent out the window, waiting for me to open mine.

I smiled and hopped to my feet, throwing my window open eagerly. "Good morning Edward."

He brushed his disheveled hair out of his face and smiled tiredly. "Back to the early morning routine I guess." Edward and I have a routine. We discovered early in our years that we wake up at the same time on school days and so every morning, before we got ready for the day, we would open our windows and have an early morning chat. Not only did it feel like it made us closer, but the cool air woke me up in the morning and helped me move around easier.

From the other room, Emmett's snoring came to an abrupt halt and I froze, telling Edward I'd see him later and grabbing the clothes I had laid out the night before and running to the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it in victory. Emmett had an annoying habit of spending as much time in the bathroom he could if he ever beat me, just so that I wouldn't have time to get ready. And I was not going to let him pull that on the first day of school.

As I ran my fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp with my strawberry shampoo, I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to my dream. To be quite honest, it scared me and it gave me this lingering feeling in my chest that something bad was going to happen. And that I would be powerless. I shivered under the hot stream of water.

I could hear Charlie and Emmett conversing sleepily outside the door and I brushed out my hair and slipped on my jeans, tugging hard to get them over my slightly damp legs and quickly tossing on a white v-neck shirt. I let my wet hair fall over my shoulders and combed through it again with my fingers, knowing that when it dried it would be as ordinary as it always was. I sighed heavily, rubbing the mirror that kept repeatedly fogging off with my hands. Being plain was kind of a drag.

I opened the door, letting my bare feet touch the cold hardwood floor in the hallway and noticed Emmett, leaning outside on the wall, head lulled forward, little snores coming from his mouth. I nudged his arm a little to wake him up, but barely moved him, as Emmett had really bulked up over the summer. I pinched his cheek. "Emmett wake up!" I yelled, poking him in the stomach. I then wet my finger and put it in his ear.

He jerked awake and I giggled and ran downstairs to eat breakfast. Of course, I didn't expect there to be anything actually cooking because by this time Charlie had already left for the station. Also, Charlie couldn't cook to save his life. So I poured myself a bowl of cereal and milk and a glass of orange juice, standard for every school morning, and dug in.

Halfway through, there was a half-hearted knock at the door before it just opened and Alice and Rosalie came busting through my kitchen. I looked up surprised, and through a mouthful of Lucky Charms, I managed to get out, "Why are you in my kitchen?"

Alice, looking bubbly as always in a bubble gum pink blouse and dark jeans, looked over at Rosalie, in a tight red shirt and leggings, and giggled manically. "You are apart of our group Bella, which means that we are not letting you be seen in that God awful truck of yours. You're riding in the M3 with Rosalie, Emmett and I."

"No." I said immediately.

Alice laughed again. "That's a shame because I got Rose to get a little… creative with your truck. There might be a little something missing and I don't think you want to walk in the rain in that tiny white t-shirt of yours when your truck doesn't start, do you Bella?"

Rosalie looked sheepish. "She tricked me."

I groaned. I hated being notice, mind you that was nearly impossible when you went anywhere with Rosalie Hale, as guys gawked at her and girls gave her death stares that would put a girl 6 feet under if they weren't as confident as Rose was. Alice's flaw in my plan though, as she says, was that my clunking piece of scrap metal was noticeable from two miles away, because it chugged and coughed and sputtered so loud, it was like a freight train.

I love my truck. It has character.

But clearly I had no choice, I didn't underestimate Rosalie's ability to put my truck in peril, being the only girl in the auto mechanics class, not to mention having the top mark in that class. So I grudgingly made my way up the stairs, pushing past Emmett who was standing in the doorway of the kitchen without a shirt, giving Rosalie googly eyes. "Grow a brain." I mumbled, annoyed.

As I climbed the stairs, I heard Emmett ask Alice, "What crawled into her cereal and died?" Cursing Alice, but secretly glad it was only the car that she was fussing about and not my clothes, I grabbed my backpack from my bed when I, by chance, saw Edward in his room, throwing on his worn brown leather jacket and grabbing his books. Panicked, I grabbed one of my pencils and chucked it at the window. I nearly missed, but thankfully it made a little _ping_ and he looked up and smiled at me.

"What can I do for you gorgeous?" He asked.

"I need a ride to school." I begged. "You're taking your Volvo right? Please don't make me drive in the M3!"

Edward laughed, knowing how eccentric Alice was. Thankfully, he was nothing like his cousin. "Done. Meet you outside."

I swung my backpack over my shoulder and rushed down the stairs, pushing past everyone and booking it across the lawn before anyone could stop me. Glancing back, I saw Alice come outside and scowl at me, so I happily gave her the middle finger as I lent against Edward's car, waiting. A white Volkswagen buggy pulled up on the road behind me and honked their horn three times.

Can you guess who it was? Lauren, Jessica and Alexis. Lauren was driving, and she glanced up and made eye contact with me. Her face formed into a sneer, but I could see the fear behind her eyes. To her, I was a crazy bitch, lurking behind my sweet innocent self, waiting to come out and pounce. I didn't acknowledge them and soon enough, Renesmee came out the front door, bronze haired glory twinkling in the sun, accentuated by the fact that she was wearing a gold sequined shirt, followed by Edward, who I have to admit, looked delicious.

Renesmee walked by me without a glance, and I knew Lauren and Jessica were ogling Edward because they both yelled "Hi Edward!" out of the car window. He raised a hand at them and came towards me, smiling softly and swinging his keys. Spotting a chance to piss them off, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. Unconsciously, I inhaled and was sent into a moment of mind numbing oblivion at the fact that he smelt so _fucking_ good. He wasn't expecting my contact but recovered nicely, putting a hand in my hair and squeezing. When we pulled apart, he threw in a kiss on the cheek for good measure.

"Nice," I mumbled appreciatively. He grinned at me, and I marveled at his super shiny white teeth.

"Ready to go?" He asked, opening the door for me. I smiled and climbed in, always expecting but never the less impressed by his chivalry. As we peeled out of his driveway, me holding on to the seat for dear life, because Edward loved to drive _fast_, I noticed he kept glancing sideways at me and although I was curious, I was also terrified of him taking his eyes off the road. "You look beautiful today Bella, like always."

I tightened my black jacket around me and blushed. I hated it when he threw out random comments like that, because he knew that I didn't like being singled out.

As we pulled in, right next to Rosalie's convertible, which I didn't know why she insisted getting because she rarely ever gets to drive with the top down, I spotted Jacob getting off his motorcycle and grinned, jogging towards him. "Jake!" I cried, throwing my arms around his tall form. He wrapped an arm around me and squeezed, half-heartedly. I looked up into his eyes and realized there was something wrong immediately. "Jake… Are you okay?" He didn't look sad, he looked angry.

His eyes glanced up over my head, and I turned to see a figure of a girl running towards the school, jacket wrapped tightly around her. I recognized her immediately. It was Leah Clearwater. "I have to go." Jake said, before he took off after her. I didn't know what had just happened, but I was sure that I would find out sometime during the school day.

Edward came up to my side, with a slightly sour look on his face. "Where was he off to in a hurry?" He asked it, but he could care less. Edward and Jake were the furthest thing from friends, even though they had only talked a couple of times. They had an invisible rivalry going on, although I had no idea why. I guess some people just clash.

I shrugged. "I honestly couldn't tell you." First day back to school, and everything was the same but yet everything was different. But who was I to make sense of all of this high school drama? It's not like anything life changing has happened.

And so I headed off to Biology with Edward by my side, with that mindset.

* * *

><p>When the bell rang for lunch, I was so relieved I almost yelled out loud. The first day of school as a senior was the same as any other first days of school, going through the course outline and requirements yadda yadda. I snuck to my locker to throw my books in, and grabbed my coat, trying to avoid being seen by anyone I knew as I ducked outside and around to the back of the school near the woods and sat on one of the old, forgotten wooden benches. I dropped my bag to the ground and reached into the front pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.<p>

Although I felt guilty, smoking behind my friends back's, I had to admit I was very good at covering it up. Lifetime supply of tic tacs hidden around my room and in my locker, taking my perfume everywhere I went, it was the perfect deception. Besides, smoking made me calm, and I didn't do it that often or in anyone's presence, so I wasn't hurting anyone. I lit up my smoke and inhaled, feeling the warmth seep through my body.

I finished, grinding it out and flicked it far into the woods, spraying myself subtly with perfume and popping a few tic tacs into my mouth, even though it wasn't going to taste very good with the sandwich I had packed. I snuck back around, and slipped through the cafeteria doors. I walked straight to my table, where Edward and Alice were sitting heads bent in conversation. Alice was grinning, but Edward looked frustrated, eyebrows furrowed. He was definitely arguing with something that she was saying.

I sat down next to Edward and they both became oddly silent. "Hey guys, what were you talking about?"

Alice looked like she was thinking of an excuse, but then she just shrugged. "Nothing of importance, but do you want to know what I found out this morning in P.E? Leah Clearwater is three months pregnant!" I knew I would find out eventually. "But here's the real shocker, Sam Uley is the dad."

I blinked. "Isn't he with Emily..?"

"That's why it's so scandalous!" She exclaimed, and Edward flinched against the volume of her voice. "He's claiming that she came over and seduced him, but the only one who believed it is Emily. When his mom found out, she dragged him out of school and no one has heard from them since. I guess Emily called her parents and told them that she wasn't coming back, and the police said that they couldn't investigate any further because there was no evidence of any forced kidnapping and Emily was eighteen, and able to make her own decisions."

I briefly wondered how Alice knew all this and I didn't, considering my father is the Chief of Police, but the thought soon faded away, because Alice knew _everything._

Soon enough, Emmett and Rosalie wandered in, holding hands while Rosalie was eyed up and down by a gaggle of freshmen boys. Em was balancing a tray stacked with food and Rose had a plastic container full of salad, and as they sat down I giggled. "Eating for two Emmett?" I teased.

He looked hurt. "I am a growing boy, Bella Swan. Besides, I need to stay energized if I want to be the best quarterback this school has ever had! GO SPARTANS!" His declaration got a scatter of applause and whistles and I had ducked down, blushing when the attention was on our table. I turned and struck up a conversation with Edward, continuing from something we were talking about on the ride here, when after a while I noticed Alice frowning at her phone. She looked out of place, and that's when I really clued in that something was missing.

"Alice, where was Jasper this morning?" I asked, and the question got the attention of our whole table.

She looked up with solemn eyes. "He's on his way." And that was it. We could all feel the lingering undertone of something dark, but nobody said anything. We all slowly directed our attention to something else.

Ten minutes later, a chair scooted out and Jasper sat down next to Alice. I watched silently, while pretending to be focused on something else, as he gently took her face in his hands and pressed his forehead to hers. Their eyes were serious, and she lifted her hand up to stroke a spot right above his head. I heard him whisper, "I'm okay," before he drew her mouth to his and kissed her gently but passionately. I ducked my head down, embarrassed that I had witnessed such a private moment between the two, but the mood was ruined when Emmett realized that Jasper was here.

"Hey man!" He exclaimed. "Dude, where were you this morning? And what happened to your head?" Sure enough, about Jasper's left eyebrow was a long, crescent shaped scar. It was definitely new, angry and red and stitched up recently.

Jasper rolled up his sleeves smoothly. "I broke something this morning and a shard flew up into my face. Nothing too serious, just a couple stitches." Edward, Emmett and Rosalie nodded and accepted his excuse, but when he made eye contact with me, my doubt grew. He drew a smile, but it was forced and it only made me more disbelieving. I didn't press, clearly this was something personal, because he only told Alice, and I could accept that.

After a while, I forgot about it and it seemed that everyone else had too, because lunch fell back into a natural flow, like it had always been between us. All too soon, it was time to get back to class. Slowly, everyone left the table. First Edward, mumbling something about needing a seat far away from Jessica Stanley, and then Emmett. Jasper and Alice followed, her arm looped through his and Rose and I were last, as I stalled her as long as I could before she dragged me off to my most dreaded class. Physical Education.

Yuck.

* * *

><p>The next few weeks of school flew by, and everything seemed to be calm. Jasper was back to himself, I had managed to avoid driving with Rose by getting a ride with Edward every morning, our table was still the same and my school days were the same, although I had yet to talk to Jake again. It actually felt like he was avoiding me.<p>

On the morning of October 1st, Emmett and I woke up late, prompting us to shoo everyone else off to school and drive after first period in Emmett's huge jeep that my father had went halves with him for on his 17th birthday.

It was a normal day for me and Em, bantering and playfully teasing each other. Because of the time, I had cooked us a breakfast of bacon and scrambled eggs and we ate over pleasant conversation. As much as I loved being with our friends, I always cherished these moments between Emmett and I, the ones that reminded me of how close we were.

After we ate, I quickly did the dishes while Emmett had a last minute shower, and by the time his curly brown locks had dried, we were ready to go. I hadn't bothered trying to do anything with my hair, because it was pouring outside. The sky was dark and I heard booms of thunder every once in a while.

Scratch that, it wasn't pouring, it was storming.

"Holy hell this is one massive storm." Emmett commented as he helped boost me up into his jeep. I buckled myself up, shaking out my hair that had become near soaked after being outside for about a minute. I agreed heartily and turned on the radio as he pulled out of the driveway.

The drive to the high school wasn't a long one, about five minutes maybe, but it seemed ridiculously long as we drove in the near pitch black with rain pouring down on us. The windshield wipers were working as fast as they could, but I could still see Emmett squinting out the windshield, trying to see.

We were about two minutes away from pulling in the parking lot, when I noticed something odd. A flash of light had beamed into my right eye, and I looked out the window to see a pair of headlights swerving at me. They didn't have the proper traction and were slipping on the road, headed full speed straight for me. I was frozen with fear. "Emmett." I stuttered.

What he did next was unbelievable. Faster than I thought possible, he turned the wheel with both his hands so that we did a full one sixty in a matter of seconds, and now the car was headed straight for him. "Emmett!" I screamed louder this time.

He looked me right in the eyes. "Don't look." And I obediently shut my eyes.

The next thing I knew, I was unconscious.

**A/N: I know this one was really short, but I wanted to get it out to you guys as soon as possible! I promise the next one will be longer.**


	3. Changes

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer is awesome. I am not.**

**A/N: Here we go guys! Either we jump off the cliff or we hold on for dear life!**

_Beep, beep, beep. _Is that my alarm? _Beep, beep, beep. _I don't remember it being this annoying.

_Beep, beep._ Holy crap.

_Beep._ Shut up already!

I threw out my right arm to find my phone and stop the beeping, but a sharp tug in my hand stopped me. Something was restraining my arm. I groaned, this had to be a dream or something where the most annoying thing is happening but you can't do anything to stop it.

I sniffed, there was something in my nose and it was really uncomfortable. I tried to bring my other hand up to scratch, only to find that it was restrained. Immovable.

That's when I knew something was seriously wrong. My eyes flew open, and the harsh light gave me an almost instant headache. I blinked and adjusted my eyes until I realized where I was.

A hospital?

And everything from before came flooding back.

_Flashing headlights_

"_Emmett!"_

"_Don't look."_

"Emmett." I gasped and shot up, ignoring the pain in almost every muscle and jumped to my feet in a panic. My legs were wobbly and my head became cloudy, and I felt like I was going to faint but I kept my knees strong and tried to move, only to find that irritating tug in my hand again. It was an IV, of course, and there was no possible way to pull it out because my left arm was wrapped up in a cast and sling.

Frustrated, I let out a cry and tugged my right hand so hard that the IV ripped out and the force of it sent me tumbling to the ground, hand bleeding. I cried out and someone ran in. "Bella, Bella!" They called.

"Edward." I whimpered and I felt him kneel down next to me and help me sit up gently, applying force to my hand with the bottom of his t-shirt.

I could hear the panic in his voice. "What in the world are you doing Bella? Are you insane!"

"Where's Emmett?" I asked miserably.

No answer.

"Edward, where's Emmett?" I asked again, becoming more vocal. I looked up in his eyes and his looked down at me, green eyes dull and sad. My heart stopped for a second, I swear it would of caused a flatline. "No…" I whispered. "He can't be?"

"It's not what you think, Bella. He's not dead." A flash of relief shot through my body. "He's in a coma."

I burst into tears immediately, half from guilt and dread and another from the excruciating pain that my body was in. "It's my fault." I blubbered. "He tried to save me. He spun the wheel around. He told me not to look. He-he-he…" Sobs took over. "I'm in so much pain!"

Edward helped lift me into the bed, and pulled the covers up to my waist. "I'm going to send Alice in to sit with you while I go get Carlisle. Bella, don't do anything stupid. I don't wan't to… I can't lose you." And he kissed me on the forehead and left. When Alice entered the room, it was still tingling.

"Alice." I whispered, happy to see her. She tried to smile, but it was a grim one. It was bleak. She didn't look like Alice, she looked tired and solemn and I just wanted to hug her and make everything go away. I wrapped her in my arms.

She hugged me back, firmly but carefully. "Oh Bella. Bella, Bella, Bella. What am I going to do with you?" She asked. "I'm so glad you're alive." The reality of her sentence hit me. I almost died. I guess I didn't realize the seriousness of what had happened to not just Emmett, but me, until now.

"How long have I been out?" I asked.

It wasn't Alice, but Carlisle who answered me, coming through the door with Edward. "It's been eight days since you were brought into the hospital, Bella. Your condition is a lot better than it was at the beginning."

"What's the damage?" I asked.

"Broken arm, two broken ribs, a lot of nasty cuts and bruises and a sprained ankle. But don't worry, you'll be out of here right when your ankle heals up. A couple weeks at the most." His sentence was supposed to relieve me, make me feel better. But I didn't want to go home, I wanted to be as close to Emmett as possible so that I could be here when he wakes up, or if something goes wrong… "Bella, you were extremely lucky. Your injuries could have been a lot worse, you could be fighting for your life right now."

My thoughts wandered to Emmett, heavy with remorse. That could have been me… _That should be me._

Carlisle helped me settle comfortably back into bed and reset my IV, as he gave me a stern warning that if I pulled any shit like this again, he would handcuff my good hand to the bed and make me pee in a bedpan. Carlisle didn't threaten people often, but I could tell he was serious this time, so I promised him that there would be no more funny business.

Slowly, everyone left the room. And then I was alone.

I watched TV, or more correctly, flicked through the whole 20 channels that were on the TV before I shut it off and closed my eyes, trying to sleep. It was seemingly impossible, because I had to lay on my back, when I normally slept on my stomach. I got frustrated and gave up, just laying there, staring up at the ceiling in the darkness.

I didn't want to let my mind wander like that, though. It only made me sick.

I noticed my cellphone on the nightstand next to me, a couple scratches and a dent in it, but other than that nothing was wrong with it. I reached over and grabbed it, dialling one of the only numbers I knew by heart. I didn't know what time it was, but when he answered, I whispered into the phone, "Can you come see me?"

Edward was standing in my room fifteen minutes later.

It was unfortunate, because I had called Edward over to keep me company and talk to me, that the morphine in my IV had finally affected me, and that my eyelids had started drooping only five minutes after Edward had gotten there. I should have told him to go home and sleep in his bed, because he had school in the morning and it would have been more comfortable. But I didn't.

I should have rang a nurse and asked her to bring a cot in for the night. But I didn't.

I woke up around six in the morning, Edward laying next to me with one arm under my neck, gently snoring. I marvelled at how young he looked in his sleep, so innocent and free of any worries that made him older. I briefly wondered if maybe everyone looked like that in their sleep, away of reality.

That's when I notice how much pain I was in. My foot ached, my ribs felt like they were on fire, I had a pounding headache and my throat was dry and raspy. I coughed and cried out from the pain it brought my stomach, which alerted Edward. He shot up. "Bella, are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Not wanting to bother him, but not wanting to ring a nurse and wait and not being able to get up, I pitifully mumbled, "Water please." He was off in a heartbeat, and I closed my eyes, trying to will my headache away. He brought me a cup and I chugged it gratefully. "You should go home and get ready for school." I suggested, not wanting him to really leave. I needed someone here with me, I needed a distraction.

Edward laughed. "School is the last thing on my mind, Bella. Trust me, the books can wait, they don't need me."

I grabbed his hand. "Stay with me today?" I begged.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Spending the day with Edward, and Edward alone, made me feel a little more normal. I could tell that he was sad, worried, not himself, but even though he was putting on a front, I felt like there were some moments during our day that we both just tried to forget, and tried to be Edward and Bella again. There were some moments where I felt like we were back at home, opening the window and chatting in the early morning.

But reality always managed to come back, no matter how hard I tried to forget.

Charlie had been in and out during the day, the minute he could get off work and see me. He told me that he was making sure his team was making the roads safe during the unpredictable weather, so that no other accidents would occur. He would hug me spontaneously, every time holding back tears, and I knew he was grateful that I was there, alive.

He didn't mention Emmett. Half of me wished he did.

Later in the afternoon, when it was just Edward and I again, Carlisle came in to check on me. I asked if he was treating Emmett, he said yes. I asked him what was wrong with him.

"Bella… I need you to know something that I have already told everyone else. There is a chance that Emmett will not come out of his coma, there's a chance that he wont wake up. But, if he does…"

"_When _he does." I emphasized.

"_If_, he does," Carlisle emphasized right back, and I finally realized how serious this was. Emmett could die. "Bella… Emmett will never be able to walk again. He'll be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. The accident hit his spine, and left him paralyzed from the waist down."

The shock of his statement left my mind blank for a minute. When I spoke, my voice came out all fuzzy in my ears. "Paralyzed? But he can still play football right?" Emmett loves football, third only to Rose and I.

Carlisle and Edward looked at me funny. "Bella… Did you not hear me clearly? He is paralyzed from the waist down. He will never walk again, let alone play football."

"So…" I said slowly. "Even if I ever get to talk to him again, even if he wakes up, he wont be Emmett anymore." It wasn't a question, it was a fact. A cold, hard fact. "I ruined his life. I killed my best friend. I crushed his dreams. I should be paralyzed, I should be in that coma, I should be dying. Carlisle, help me fix this!" I panicked. "I have to go back and fix this! I have to-I have to- I…" My heart monitor starting beeping erratically as I worked myself up into a coughing fit, holding my ribs in pain. "I want to die." I whispered. "If Emmett can't live, I don't want to either. Somebody kill me. Shoot me in the temple. Blow my brains out. Strangle me. Anything."

Edward grasped my good hand. "Bella, calm down and get a hold of yourself. Stop spewing ridiculous nonsense! Do you think that Emmett would have sacrificed himself if he wanted you to talk like this! If he wanted you to kill yourself! Don't be a fucking idiot, _cherish_ the fact that you're alive right now!"

"I can't." I whispered pitifully.

"Well then _fuck_ you, you ungrateful bitch! I'm not going to stay around and listen to this shit! I'm done!" Edward roared, turning around and walking out of the room, the door slamming behind him.

My heart panged with sadness, but I pushed it aside. I needed to be numb. Numb was good. When you're numb, there's no pain. Carlisle followed behind him slowly, as I slid back against my pillows and drew the blanket over my head. Maybe if I fell asleep under here, I would suffocate.

* * *

><p>Two weeks passed, and I hadn't heard from Edward. He hadn't called, he hadn't come to see me and even though I was trying to be numb, I missed him. I was lonely in the hospital.<p>

Charlie visited me everyday when he could. Even I could tell that he was throwing himself into his work to distract himself that he could lose Emmett, who was the closest thing to a son that he ever had. Alice came to visit me at least four times a week, usually dragging Jasper in tow. There was something off about Jasper still, and even though I couldn't put my finger on it yet, I vowed to find out eventually.

A couple of my acquaintances from school, namely Angela Webber and her boyfriend Ben, visited me every so often and caught me up on what was going on at school, for which I was glad to have a moment to be back in a normal life.

But there was one person I hadn't seen since I woke up. And that person was walking through the door right now.

"Rose." I smiled. She looked at me, dark circles beneath her makeup less eyes, and didn't even make an attempt to smile.

What she said was short, simple and hurt like hell. "I know you didn't ask him to, Bella. To sacrifice himself. But every time I look, think or hear about you, I'm filled with rage. I _hate_ you for it, Bella. And for that reason, I can't talk to you anymore. Not until I cool down, or he wakes up or something. I'm sorry." She didn't linger, she didn't try to look remorseful. She had taken a page from my book, she was utterly and completely numb. As she turned and walked abruptly out of the room, my heart split in two again as I took in the pain of losing another person. Three down, two to go.

I burst into tears.

I was released from the hospital a week and a half later. Charlie drove me home in the cruiser, and told me he had taken the week off to help me settle in. Truthfully I just wanted him to go back to work so I could be alone, so I could cry without worries of him hearing me and asking me what was wrong. I didn't want to tell him, I just wanted to keep to myself.

Alice and Jasper came and visited me regularly, bringing me homework, which I half heartedly did, and giving me the company that Charlie failed to give. Slowly but surely, the week passed and even though Charlie was hesitant, he left for work early one Saturday morning. I had reassured him that I was feeling better and so did Carlisle, who said that I could go back to school in a few days. Ugh.

It was early Saturday afternoon. My cast and sling had come off, and my arm was resting in some bandages until it was fully healed. I was sitting on my bed, trying to do my Calculus homework when I looked out the window and saw Edward, laying in his bed with his headphones on, eyes closed, head bobbing. I debated whether I should throw something at the window, because I really wanted someone to come and keep me company as my mind kept wandering to Emmett, but every time I did, he ignored me.

Noticing that no one else was home, I came to my conclusion by going downstairs and not even bothering to throw on shoes, I ran across the lawn and prayed that Edward had left the front door unlocked.

Luck was there for once, he did. I made my way up the stairs quietly and opened his door a crack. His eyes were still closed as I slipped in and shut the door behind me. I watched him, hair tousled back all over the pillow and his forehead, white shirt lifted up so that I could see the sliver of his stomach by his jeans. He had all the elements that would help me forget, _make_ me forget.

I braved myself, trying to rid myself of all my shyness. I wasn't the Bella that I used to be, I _couldn't _be anymore. That Bella would have broken down already, that Bella wasn't strong enough. Bravely, I climbed up onto his bed and pulled out his headphones.

He looked at me curiously. "Bella…? Why are you in my room?" Thankfully he didn't sound mad and before I knew what I was doing, I was straddling him.

"Let me forget." I whispered before I smashed my lips against his.

There was a moment's hesitation, and then he was kissing me back hungrily, hands grabbing at my back and pulling me closer. I opened my mouth, and his tongue swirled with mine eagerly. "Edward." I moaned involuntarily.

He flipped me over so that he was hovering over me on one arm, and commanded me to take off my shirt. "I want to forget too." He said. I let his hands grab my breasts, and he unclipped my bra and threw it aside, his mouths on my nipples, licking and sucking hungrily. I tried to ignore the fact that I was topless, the new Bella wanted this.

I took his shirt off too, after all it was only fair, and I forced him mouth back up to mine. I could feel him getter harder, as he grabbed my hip with one hand and pushed up in between my legs. He reached down with a free hand and unbuttoned my jeans, and unzipped the fly. He slowly started tugging them off, past my hips and all the way down past my ankles, and threw them across the room. "You don't need those anyway." He said and he stepped off the bed to take off his own jeans.

There we both were, with just our underwear between us. "Do you really want to do this?" He whispered to me, knowing that I was a virgin. I wanted to feel him inside me, I was hoping it would wash away my memories.

"Please." I whispered. And that's all it took for him to slide my panties off, his boxers coming right off with them, and positioning himself at my entrance.

He looked me deeply in the eyes. "This is going to hurt, Bella. I'll try to be as gentle as I can."

I wanted to smash him over the head for being a gentleman at the worst time, but I just nodded, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and squeezing my eyes shut tight. I was prepared and ready, holding my breath, when he sighed and rolled off of me.

"Bella I can't. Not now, not because of this."

I felt the tears fill my eyes, and I threw up the blanket around my body, fully aware of my scars now. "You don't want me. You think I'm ugly."

Edward looked up. "Bella, don't even say that…"

"No that's it!" I exclaimed, scrambling to put my clothes back on. "I'm ugly and fat, hideous, not good enough to sleep with Edward Cullen. And I thought this would be a good idea." I tugged my long sleeve over my head and rubbed at my damp eyes. "I'm sorry I disappointed you, Edward. I have to go."

And I ran out of there as fast as my legs could take me.


End file.
